Are You Ready for Some (Fantasy) Football?
The latter half of July is upon us, which means it's time to start thinking about fantasy football. For me personally, it's a chance to try to atone for my worst fantasy season ever. Football in 2006 was simply a debacle; there's no getting around it. I'm going to try not to repeat the mistakes of a year ago, but I'm well on my way to duplicating the biggest one already: trying to juggle a personal-record 6 teams. We're 6 weeks away from opening day, and already I'm halfway there. This year can't get much worse than last, though; part of the problem with having so many teams was that every single one of my players seemed to be made of glass, and I simply got overwhelmed trying to sub them all in and out. It's my job to overcome that, but I've got to believe my luck will be at least a little better this time around.
I've got high hopes for my team in the league I'm running. How do I know, you ask? It's true, I don't know for sure who my opposing owners will be, and I won't have a single player on my roster for another 5-6 weeks. I'm not even sure where in the draft order I'll fall, although it will probably be high since I royally sucked last year. My confidence has to do with the one thing I do know about my team: its name.
I'm calling my boys the Armadillos this year, which the observant ones among you will recognize from the underrated football classic "Necessary Roughness." The game plan is to stock the roster with the type of talent the fictional football team had before going on probation, and then instill the scrappy attitude that kept them in games after trimming down the scholarships. I'm even thinking of giving Ed "Straight Arrow" Janeiro a call; if he's not doing anything, maybe he can coach them. The real thrill, though, would be if one of my guys went nuts on the field and allowed me to quote the inimitable Rob Schneider: "I don't know what he saw on that play, that was a CLEAN kick to the facemask!" I think if we can get Joey Porter to randomly punch Levi Jones in Vegas months after a hotly-contested game, we can make this happen.
The other thing that gets me excited about "Armadillos" as a team name, besides the endless quoteability it brings to the table, is the abbreviation factor. Many dominant teams, such as the Yanks, BoSox, Celts, and Pack, have had the ability to abbreviate their name, thus drawing the fan base in and making the team feel more supported, always an important intangible. It even works for fantasy sports; for instance, a few years ago my brother Kevin ran away with the regular season baseball crown with his Isotopes, which he constantly referred to as the 'Topes. With that in mind, I think my 'Dillos are destined to bring home the hardware this year.
Speaking of Kev, his victory in last year's playoffs gave him the right to choose the league name for this year. He promised to come up with an obscure name that only he would find amusing, and he didn't disappoint with "Flash Gordon QB, NY Jets." This is from the early '80's sci-fi flick "Flash Gordon" and was how the title character introduced himself to all of the extraterrestrial characters in the movie. Classic Kevin: a silly quote from an awesomely bad movie that you have to think about just a little bit too long for it to be truly funny. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...
I've got high hopes for my team in the league I'm running. How do I know, you ask? It's true, I don't know for sure who my opposing owners will be, and I won't have a single player on my roster for another 5-6 weeks. I'm not even sure where in the draft order I'll fall, although it will probably be high since I royally sucked last year. My confidence has to do with the one thing I do know about my team: its name.
I'm calling my boys the Armadillos this year, which the observant ones among you will recognize from the underrated football classic "Necessary Roughness." The game plan is to stock the roster with the type of talent the fictional football team had before going on probation, and then instill the scrappy attitude that kept them in games after trimming down the scholarships. I'm even thinking of giving Ed "Straight Arrow" Janeiro a call; if he's not doing anything, maybe he can coach them. The real thrill, though, would be if one of my guys went nuts on the field and allowed me to quote the inimitable Rob Schneider: "I don't know what he saw on that play, that was a CLEAN kick to the facemask!" I think if we can get Joey Porter to randomly punch Levi Jones in Vegas months after a hotly-contested game, we can make this happen.
The other thing that gets me excited about "Armadillos" as a team name, besides the endless quoteability it brings to the table, is the abbreviation factor. Many dominant teams, such as the Yanks, BoSox, Celts, and Pack, have had the ability to abbreviate their name, thus drawing the fan base in and making the team feel more supported, always an important intangible. It even works for fantasy sports; for instance, a few years ago my brother Kevin ran away with the regular season baseball crown with his Isotopes, which he constantly referred to as the 'Topes. With that in mind, I think my 'Dillos are destined to bring home the hardware this year.
Speaking of Kev, his victory in last year's playoffs gave him the right to choose the league name for this year. He promised to come up with an obscure name that only he would find amusing, and he didn't disappoint with "Flash Gordon QB, NY Jets." This is from the early '80's sci-fi flick "Flash Gordon" and was how the title character introduced himself to all of the extraterrestrial characters in the movie. Classic Kevin: a silly quote from an awesomely bad movie that you have to think about just a little bit too long for it to be truly funny. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...
posted by Lock Ness Monster at 6:09 PM
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