Win James Dolan's Money, The Draft: Part 2
10/20, 9:45 PM: Amanda selects Chauncey Billups just ahead of our resident Detroiter. Vern counters with ‘Melo, whom the Pistons could have had if they had not instead chosen to mess with Darko’s head for a few years.
10:30 PM: Kevin, looking to recreate his wife’s strategy from last year of riding anyone named Wallace to victory, grabs Ben and Rasheed. William Wallace, sadly, is unavailable, although I’m convinced he would have made a killer undersized PF, not to mention the leadership skills he undoubtedly would have brought to the locker room. Vern needs a PG, so he goes with Jason Terry.
10/21, 2:05 PM: Amanda opts for the stat-stuffing Lamar Odom, probably because she somehow knew I was thinking about him at the next spot. The guy I really wanted, though, is still here, so I take Dwight Howard. I’d been waiting on him for a few rounds, but finally decided I couldn’t wait any longer. I now have last year’s two best rebounders, and I think DH is going to continue to improve his scoring as well. Jason grabs the first Buckeye of the draft, Michael Redd, followed by Logan taking Antawn Jamison and Mike Bibby, who I was starting to consider for next time. Apparently, Jason’s in my head, too, because he takes Joe Johnson. So, down to Option C for my 6th round pick, I decide that I need to put a stop to Kevin’s Wallace Plan by taking Gerald of the Bobcats. In addition to it being my brotherly duty to put a wrench into Kev’s plans, a quick look at last year’s stats reveals that Gerald Wallace might be Ron Artest, minus a little scoring but also with much less potential for a season-ending fight. Works for me!
3:35 PM: Amanda takes Jermaine O’Neal, who I was considering for filling my increasingly gaping hole in the middle but ultimately decided against taking on his injury risk this early.
6:25 PM: Vern’s running a little late on this pick, so I give him a call to see what’s up. Turns out he’s at B-Dubs watching the Tigers in the World Series. How dare he! I suppose I’ll forgive it just this once…anyway, he wants Jason Richardson. Done.
10/24, 8:47 AM: After a semi-brief hiatus while I was recovering from being under the weather, we pick things back up with Kev. He goes for Josh Smith and Rashard Lewis, both of whom were under consideration for my next pick. Clearly, he’s still miffed about me breaking up the Wallace Trifecta.
12:05 PM: Vern gets Boris Diaw, saving me from having to get a player I grew to hate during last year’s playoffs but also depriving me of the best available center. Amanda decides that she wants to act on Gauri’s comment about “Kirk playing for her team” by picking up Kirk Hinrich. The only problem I see with that pick is that she’s already down one game the first week of the season at Hinrich’s position (keeping in mind that Dwyane Wade has already fouled Hinrich and almost every other Bulls guard out of next Tuesday’s game). I’m next, and I decide enough is enough with not having a center. This is usually one of the first positions I fill, although in past years I tend to do it with guys like Dirk, who are centers in Yahoo eligibility only. In keeping with the latter trend, my selection is Mehmet Okur, who had a breakout season a year ago. Jason follows up with Richard Jefferson, a favorite of his. I’ve been in 3 fantasy hoops leagues with Jason in the last 4 years, and it seems to me that 2 things have remained constant: his team name (notaplayajstcrshalot), and the presence of Richard Jefferson.
4:30 PM: Logan took one look at his roster and saw a gaping hole in his team. He was sorely lacking one thing: Last Name Letters. He remedied this by taking Peja Stojakovic and Wally Szczerbiak. In doing so, he screwed me over yet again; I almost took Peja last time to balance the nearly Shaq-esque free-throw shooting of Gerald Wallace and Dwight Howard. Hey, speaking of Shaq, isn’t it funny that we’re 43 picks into the draft and haven’t heard the Diesel’s name yet? Jason sure thinks so. The Big Free-Fall’s wait ends at the #44 spot.
5:30 PM: Still reeling from the Peja debacle, I may have reached a bit by going with his new teammate David West. I’ve been impressed with West since his days of thrashing my alma mater a few times a year, but I’m not sure if I couldn’t have waited another round or two on him. This may start to keep me up at night if Chris Paul doesn’t feed him approximately 50 times a game. Brad Miller is Amanda’s pick at the next spot…I, uh, really can’t think of anything interesting to say about him, so I’ll move on…
9:08 PM: Vern takes the first member of the Jail Blazers, Zach Randolph. And no, I don’t think I’ll stop calling them that anytime soon.
10/25, 8:52 AM: Kevin takes his man, Marcus Camby, and follows that up with the injured Pau Gasol. He immediately makes Gasol and Bryant co-captains of his mash unit… I mean, fantasy squad in light of their leadership skills, which they displayed by managing to get hurt before the season even started. Seriously, Kev needs to rename his team the Grant Hill All-Stars. And yes, I have just ensured that meteorites will fall on each and every member of my fantasy team within the next week by making one too many jokes about the collective injury propensity of my brother’s roster. In other news, Vern takes sixth man extraordinaire Ben Gordon. Normally, I’d say Vern should be pretty concerned with Gordon fouling out of the Bulls/Heat season opener, but as he doesn’t play defense and is liable to let D-Wade drive right past him, Gordon should be safe.
9:17 AM: Amanda: “Ron Artest”; Me: “Are you sure?”; Amanda: “Yes. I feel sick to my stomach, but yes. I need the Steals. I hate fantasy basketball.” Indeed.
9:50 AM: Well, I should have known this would happen. I make a comment about KG not having any supporting cast in Minny, and what do I do? I grab one of his teammates, Ricky Davis. Although, to be fair, anyone who once shot at the wrong basket just so that he can get his last rebound for a triple-double can’t really be called a “supporting” player (although such creative stat-grabbing is well appreciated by his fantasy owners). Besides, it’s a well-known rule that a league commissioner can change his mind anytime a 19-5-5 guy is available at the 52nd overall pick. Emeka Okafor, who has one of the best Vowel Ratios out there, is scooped up by Jason next as I continue my assault on Harry Doyle’s all-time Useless Statistics Cited record (does that count, too?).
10/26, 9:57 AM: Logan tries to draft the already-taken Brad Miller and Ricky Davis. Oh no, Logan, you’re not getting Davis after all the trouble I went to in justifying picking him! So you get Carlos Boozer and Raymond Felton instead. That’ll teach you! Jason’s up next, and since we don’t keep track of Extra Timeout Technical Fouls, Chris Webber’s his man. (Note: It is every Buckeye fan’s duty to bring this up whenever C-Webb is mentioned; I don’t care that it happened 13 years ago.) That brings us back to my turn. Now, the name I came up with for the league is a bit of a shot at the Knicks, but I want to make sure that Isaiah doesn’t crucify me in the media the way he did Greg Anthony after the ESPN analyst criticized Isaiah’s selection of Ronaldo Balkman. So, to appease my and Bill Simmons’s favorite NBA punching bag, I decided to take one of his other draft picks, Channing Frye. I needed a backup center, and Frye could turn out to be Amare Lite if the Knicks go to a running attack like everyone’s predicting.
10:33 AM: Amanda takes Caron Butler without regrets (as far as I know).
12:19 PM: Vern picks Corey Maggette next. Since this is the 10th round and we only start 9 in this league, Vern should be very concerned with the possible chemistry disruption to his fantasy team if Maggette doesn’t find his way into the lineup.
10:30 PM: Kevin, looking to recreate his wife’s strategy from last year of riding anyone named Wallace to victory, grabs Ben and Rasheed. William Wallace, sadly, is unavailable, although I’m convinced he would have made a killer undersized PF, not to mention the leadership skills he undoubtedly would have brought to the locker room. Vern needs a PG, so he goes with Jason Terry.
10/21, 2:05 PM: Amanda opts for the stat-stuffing Lamar Odom, probably because she somehow knew I was thinking about him at the next spot. The guy I really wanted, though, is still here, so I take Dwight Howard. I’d been waiting on him for a few rounds, but finally decided I couldn’t wait any longer. I now have last year’s two best rebounders, and I think DH is going to continue to improve his scoring as well. Jason grabs the first Buckeye of the draft, Michael Redd, followed by Logan taking Antawn Jamison and Mike Bibby, who I was starting to consider for next time. Apparently, Jason’s in my head, too, because he takes Joe Johnson. So, down to Option C for my 6th round pick, I decide that I need to put a stop to Kevin’s Wallace Plan by taking Gerald of the Bobcats. In addition to it being my brotherly duty to put a wrench into Kev’s plans, a quick look at last year’s stats reveals that Gerald Wallace might be Ron Artest, minus a little scoring but also with much less potential for a season-ending fight. Works for me!
3:35 PM: Amanda takes Jermaine O’Neal, who I was considering for filling my increasingly gaping hole in the middle but ultimately decided against taking on his injury risk this early.
6:25 PM: Vern’s running a little late on this pick, so I give him a call to see what’s up. Turns out he’s at B-Dubs watching the Tigers in the World Series. How dare he! I suppose I’ll forgive it just this once…anyway, he wants Jason Richardson. Done.
10/24, 8:47 AM: After a semi-brief hiatus while I was recovering from being under the weather, we pick things back up with Kev. He goes for Josh Smith and Rashard Lewis, both of whom were under consideration for my next pick. Clearly, he’s still miffed about me breaking up the Wallace Trifecta.
12:05 PM: Vern gets Boris Diaw, saving me from having to get a player I grew to hate during last year’s playoffs but also depriving me of the best available center. Amanda decides that she wants to act on Gauri’s comment about “Kirk playing for her team” by picking up Kirk Hinrich. The only problem I see with that pick is that she’s already down one game the first week of the season at Hinrich’s position (keeping in mind that Dwyane Wade has already fouled Hinrich and almost every other Bulls guard out of next Tuesday’s game). I’m next, and I decide enough is enough with not having a center. This is usually one of the first positions I fill, although in past years I tend to do it with guys like Dirk, who are centers in Yahoo eligibility only. In keeping with the latter trend, my selection is Mehmet Okur, who had a breakout season a year ago. Jason follows up with Richard Jefferson, a favorite of his. I’ve been in 3 fantasy hoops leagues with Jason in the last 4 years, and it seems to me that 2 things have remained constant: his team name (notaplayajstcrshalot), and the presence of Richard Jefferson.
4:30 PM: Logan took one look at his roster and saw a gaping hole in his team. He was sorely lacking one thing: Last Name Letters. He remedied this by taking Peja Stojakovic and Wally Szczerbiak. In doing so, he screwed me over yet again; I almost took Peja last time to balance the nearly Shaq-esque free-throw shooting of Gerald Wallace and Dwight Howard. Hey, speaking of Shaq, isn’t it funny that we’re 43 picks into the draft and haven’t heard the Diesel’s name yet? Jason sure thinks so. The Big Free-Fall’s wait ends at the #44 spot.
5:30 PM: Still reeling from the Peja debacle, I may have reached a bit by going with his new teammate David West. I’ve been impressed with West since his days of thrashing my alma mater a few times a year, but I’m not sure if I couldn’t have waited another round or two on him. This may start to keep me up at night if Chris Paul doesn’t feed him approximately 50 times a game. Brad Miller is Amanda’s pick at the next spot…I, uh, really can’t think of anything interesting to say about him, so I’ll move on…
9:08 PM: Vern takes the first member of the Jail Blazers, Zach Randolph. And no, I don’t think I’ll stop calling them that anytime soon.
10/25, 8:52 AM: Kevin takes his man, Marcus Camby, and follows that up with the injured Pau Gasol. He immediately makes Gasol and Bryant co-captains of his mash unit… I mean, fantasy squad in light of their leadership skills, which they displayed by managing to get hurt before the season even started. Seriously, Kev needs to rename his team the Grant Hill All-Stars. And yes, I have just ensured that meteorites will fall on each and every member of my fantasy team within the next week by making one too many jokes about the collective injury propensity of my brother’s roster. In other news, Vern takes sixth man extraordinaire Ben Gordon. Normally, I’d say Vern should be pretty concerned with Gordon fouling out of the Bulls/Heat season opener, but as he doesn’t play defense and is liable to let D-Wade drive right past him, Gordon should be safe.
9:17 AM: Amanda: “Ron Artest”; Me: “Are you sure?”; Amanda: “Yes. I feel sick to my stomach, but yes. I need the Steals. I hate fantasy basketball.” Indeed.
9:50 AM: Well, I should have known this would happen. I make a comment about KG not having any supporting cast in Minny, and what do I do? I grab one of his teammates, Ricky Davis. Although, to be fair, anyone who once shot at the wrong basket just so that he can get his last rebound for a triple-double can’t really be called a “supporting” player (although such creative stat-grabbing is well appreciated by his fantasy owners). Besides, it’s a well-known rule that a league commissioner can change his mind anytime a 19-5-5 guy is available at the 52nd overall pick. Emeka Okafor, who has one of the best Vowel Ratios out there, is scooped up by Jason next as I continue my assault on Harry Doyle’s all-time Useless Statistics Cited record (does that count, too?).
10/26, 9:57 AM: Logan tries to draft the already-taken Brad Miller and Ricky Davis. Oh no, Logan, you’re not getting Davis after all the trouble I went to in justifying picking him! So you get Carlos Boozer and Raymond Felton instead. That’ll teach you! Jason’s up next, and since we don’t keep track of Extra Timeout Technical Fouls, Chris Webber’s his man. (Note: It is every Buckeye fan’s duty to bring this up whenever C-Webb is mentioned; I don’t care that it happened 13 years ago.) That brings us back to my turn. Now, the name I came up with for the league is a bit of a shot at the Knicks, but I want to make sure that Isaiah doesn’t crucify me in the media the way he did Greg Anthony after the ESPN analyst criticized Isaiah’s selection of Ronaldo Balkman. So, to appease my and Bill Simmons’s favorite NBA punching bag, I decided to take one of his other draft picks, Channing Frye. I needed a backup center, and Frye could turn out to be Amare Lite if the Knicks go to a running attack like everyone’s predicting.
10:33 AM: Amanda takes Caron Butler without regrets (as far as I know).
12:19 PM: Vern picks Corey Maggette next. Since this is the 10th round and we only start 9 in this league, Vern should be very concerned with the possible chemistry disruption to his fantasy team if Maggette doesn’t find his way into the lineup.
posted by Lock Ness Monster at 5:14 PM
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